Perhaps just the solution for our Indian Blackberry bearing brother, the Securephone Encrypted GSM cell phone boasts military-grade secure conversations.

Packing a saber-rattling triple layer, 256-bit encryption based on Twofish, AES and Serpent ciphers, just looking at this phone is enough to get you waterboarded.

While the triple threat may sound like the master of ciphers the whole process comes to nothing if the recipient is all lasseiz faire on a Motorola or some such. If you want to keep the man at bay you’ll likely need to invest in two of these devices, but at £1051.63 x 2, perhaps you should talk in person.