Well you Mitre’s well have the best if you going to buy a fashion phone this season it has to be gold, baby - like our friends the LG Secret and KF600.

Draped in 24 karats of excess the drippingly hot Goldstriker pimped LG phones are the ultimate in pointless extravagance and if you have too many chains and rings already and you’ve run out of places to bling why not this innocuous handset combo?

The Kf600 eeks in at a laughingly affordable £329.95 and the Secret will drop a mortgage payment at £529.95, but hey when the removalists take your last golden toilet seat at least you can phone a friend and tell them how you used to have it all.